So theres this weird ball of confusion in my mind at the moment. Its been forming for the past couple of days. Its interwoven with conversations with friends. Purity as it is defined in the scripture is pretty cut and dry. Until you try to mix it with social interaction. There is no amount of text that will ever fully describe a social interaction. You could write books and books and books for years about a single moment in time where two people walk past each other and give each other a look. Unfortunately this seems to be true even of the scripture.

This whole thing started with a conversation with E. She asserted that she had issue with flirty and recalling how to flirt. The question of whether flirting is wrong or not came up. The intent of flirting is to signify attraction. As I think about that I wonder if its possible to flirt in a non-sexual way. What action differentiates flirting from the every day interaction? How do you let some one know you are interested in them if your morals and your law(scripture) prevent you from being sexual towards them prior to marriage? You can’t really just come out and say you are interested in some one straight to their face especially if you are unsure of where they stand. So flirting seems to be a neccesary part of human communication and yet doesn’t fit scripture.

So how then are we supposed to find our potential mate? We can’t wink at them(prov. 7 or 8) and we can’t play footsie. We definately can’t tackle them and roll around on the floor ‘playfully’. So…I’m doomed to be single!? I know Paul said it was better to be that way but right now at this point in my life I’m definately not seeing the up side.

I know if we pray the Lord will give us the desires of our heart. But it some how doesn’t seem right to have to be so limited in our body language for something that almost seems necessary. I need to ponder this further. I need to know how to let her know I’m interested with out over stepping the bounds set by God.

2 comments so far

  1. Maureen on

    Flirting is a sign of attraction — interest — not a flashing neon sign advertising sex. The fact that you have to worry this much about a little light banter is, of course, a sign of how far our society has descended.

    Bad flirting is the kind of flirting which promises what it has no intention of delivering. Good flirting just says, “I think you’re interesting. Let me show you that I’m interesting, too. If we’re both interested enough, we can look into dating. If we’re not, we’ve just shared a little light banter and are glad to be reminded that the opposite sex finds us attractive.”

    There is also social flirting, which is just complimentary. “I’m happily married and so are you, or maybe you’re scads too young for me. So let’s just trade light banter for fun, so we each can practice being gallant to the opposite sex.” You used to get a lot more of this, but sadly, in today’s world it’s too easily misunderstood to be a fun diversion for most.

    It’s been pointed out (mostly by French people) that Jesus’ chat with the woman at the well initially sounded like he was flirting. Obviously, this faded as he went into messiah mode. But he got her attention, didn’t He? 🙂

    Most women are, if anything, overly aware of which men are attracted to them. What can I say? It’s a God-given skill. 🙂 However, there’s a difference between passive attraction and attraction which is interested enough to get out there and talk to a girl. You don’t have to flirt like a theater major, or anything like that. But it’s okay to talk to women and try to make them laugh or smile. In fact, it’s part of being a gentleman.

  2. Maureen on

    Sorry for the double post.

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